"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live." - M. Twain

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Name: Jennifer


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Member Since: 8/24/2006

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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

wow there is almost nothing i despise more than questions left unanswered.
c'est la vie. il y a toujours beaucoup de choses que nous ne saurons jamais. mais pour quoi..


Sunday, November 13, 2011

seeing you over break

it's not any easier. before, it was pain.
now, i just feel hella awkward.

i'm not who i was 3 months ago.
so, i think this might get a little weird, dramatic, uncomfortable.

meh.


Tuesday, August 02, 2011

all i feel is pain.


Thursday, July 28, 2011

exhale

when i think about it, i can't even breathe anymore. everything inside of my tightens up and my brain goes numb.

what's the right thing to do, and is that the same as what i want to do? and even if it's what i want to do how long will it last for me and how long will it last for him?

i don't want to think about it. i don't want to think about us parting ways, separating, even finding someone new.

if it were only as simple as solving a math problem - i'd brush up on my notes, flip through the book, attempt to work at it, and even if i was totally lost someone could guide me through it. in the end, there would only be one correct answer.

i don't even have an answer of my own anymore. i don't know what i want, i don't know how to get to where i want. i just want him. i want him, committed and ready to love me and only me.

i wish i could fast forward to 6 years from today so i don't have to deal with the pain now.

i love you, miss you, want you, need you.
best friend.


Saturday, July 09, 2011

you're in saint louis

and i'm in my bed wondering what you're doing right now.

you just being at orientation makes me realize i need to start letting you go. i can't be that girlfriend who always thinks about you anymore. i can't be attached, the way you were once with me. i don't even know if you'll still care about me a week after you move in, so i can't even feel the same way i do now.

is this what it'll be like? the last thing you'll do is think of me and want to talk to me.

i feel so small and insignificant, like when a child outgrows a doll.

don't worry, i won't be the same me anymore.



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